Dating in real life post lockdown
As lockdown is gradually lifting and we seem to be on track with the roadmap, it’s time to meet people in real life again.
However, I just want to clarify, there is nothing wrong with meeting someone over a dating app. However, after a year of being at home in a pandemic and now being able to soon venture out into the world, many of us are ready to date face to face as oppose to chatting endlessly on apps or meeting on Zoom.
So now is the perfect time to fix up, look sharp and date in real life. But it’s clearly been a while and most definitely there will be some overwhelm. My advice, take out a few moments to define your purpose and how you would like to move forward.
Evaluate what you expect from a relationship.
It’s all very well going out into the world looking for someone, but do you know the kind of person you are actually looking for? Make sure you have a think about what your expectations are from a forthcoming relationship, so you know the kind of person you are looking for.
Make a conscious effort to socialise more.
How are you supposed to meet people in real life if you don’t go out? What your interpretation of ‘going out’ is entirely up to you. This could be getting dressed up and planning a night on the town or even taking classes, whatever you do, do so with conviction and consistency. By deleting the apps, you really do have to push your boundaries, so think about how and where you would like to meet people.
Go somewhere different.
If you want to meet different people, then of course you have to visit new places. You can’t stick to the same and expect a different result, right? Encourage yourself to look at alternative locations. Where would your ideal match be hanging out? How do they dress, what are their hobbies. Visualise your ideal date, think about the type of places they would visit and then frequent them.
Set achievable targets.
If you’re someone who is used to dating apps, you’ll soon realise that if you want to meet someone in real life, you’ll have to apply a different skillset. Therefore, you need to have a think about how you will approach meeting new people and set an achievable goal. For example, I want to concentrate on meeting one person a month, get to know them and see if it can lead somewhere. Or you could even say, I want to get as many phone numbers as I can, however, be realistic, remained focussed and don’t burn yourself out.
Join a class.
This will genuinely work wonders. By meeting people in different surroundings, you will present yourself differently. Sharing interests with others of course shows you have something you both enjoy in common and is a great conversation starter.
This could be an art-class or even a social event. If you’re lifestyle is hectic and you don’t get a chance to meet new, likeminded people, this is a great opportunity to do something about it. Check out Meetup.com for a social event in your local area.
Go places alone.
I can vouch for this as I have done it and believe me when I say it really does push your boundaries. I travelled to New York alone for five days after my divorce and all I wanted to do was walk, just walk! I met some great people from different paths of life and experienced so much. I came back feeling empowered and learning I was capable of approaching people with confidence. I’m not saying book a holiday and throw yourself in the deep end. But go somewhere and try and talk to new people. Maybe just hangout at a coffee shop and read a book, you never know who’s eye you may catch.
If none of this feels right and you would love to go back to the comfort of online apps, there is nothing wrong with it, go for it. You have to enjoy the process of dating and comfort is key. So if you try this and it’s not for you, that’s fine. Dating should be fun and bring the best out of you, however you choose to do it.
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